How Was Your Thanksgiving?

It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving, and we are back to our regular grind whatever that might be.  Chances are you were greeted by the obligatory, “How was your Thanksgiving?”  I was giving my answer some serious thought when I arrived at my perfect response, “Predictable.”

Not to be ungrateful, but isn’t this the case year after year?  The same food is served each year, the same relatives show up, the same conversations are had, and on it goes.  Part of the tradition of Thanksgiving and other holidays is the familiarity of the unchanged. 

Perhaps you like the comfort of the same.  The same people that were late last year, were late this year.  If you didn’t like the cranberry salad that your mother-in-law made last year, odds are fairly high that you didn’t like it this year.  Kids may have grown little taller, parents and grandparents have shown their age a bit more, and the most dysfunctional habits of relatives may have reached a new high or low.  But wait, aren’t we comforted by knowing what to expect each year?

How would it work if your sister who operates on her own time showed up early? Or, what would occur if your not so favorite uncle talked about what is right with the world and not start discussing politics the moment he walked in the door?  I am not sure that we would be able to handle these changes.  

So I guess we can take solace in the holidays, whether you enjoy them, or cannot wait for them to be over, at least we can agree that they are indeed predictable.    

Gotta Love The Euphemism...

As I readied myself for the day, I was multitasking, a word that my husband does not allow to be uttered in our house.  You know, applying make-up, while making the bed and half listening to the morning news on the television.  Knee deep into my morning rituals, I was struck by two words uttered by a national news anchor reporting the Washington D.C. beat as she was describing some Congressmen.  She said that they exhibited an ethical lapse.

As a writer it is my business, my passion and my hobby to put words to paper, the Internet, brochures, or whatever other mediums I am assigned.  I appreciate words.  No, scratch that, I am in love with words, phrases and how to cleverly put them together.  I get the different styles of writing and how powerful words and phrases can get folks to jump off their duffs to make a purchase, listen to an opposing viewpoint, and learn of events outside of their sandboxes, and on and on.

The potency of the words, ethical lapse used in this particular segment gave me pause.  What was this?  I know, I know, it was a euphemism. Remember those?  Yep, the ability to replace a mild word or phrase that is less offensive than what is really intended.

I was quickly reminded of my blind dating phase, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.  When I would inquire as to what my mystery date looked like, I would frequently hear, “He has a great personality.”  After several dates lasting longer than the American Revolution I wised up and knew that it really meant was that he sweat profusely and laughed loudly at his own jokes.

So what was really meant by the words ethical lapse? Did the Congressmen have a problem telling the truth?  Or to be blunt, did they lie?  Then I got to thinking, what really went on with the writers who had to spin this piece.  What other phrases were bandied about?  Moral amnesia?   Displaced honesty?  Truth deficit disorder?

 Who says writing isn’t fun?

Another Valentine's Day...

Among the most abhorred holiday for a single girl, Valentine’s Days of long ago seemed to last a month.  I was so intent on projecting the nonchalant, “I am fine with my status, what are you looking at” vibe, when really I was focused on ending my status of alone, pronto.   Finding love and happily- ever- after seemed unfeasible.

Fast-forward to now.  I am married to my husband who came with a son and a dog.  The dog has since left earth, and the son is still here.  As with most unions, people come with stuff.  The luggage that two people bring to a relationship would make most airlines rich with the overweight fees.  Is it easy?  Nope.  Are there times that I want to keep my thumb in my mouth and not deal with my marriage?  Absolutely.

As tomorrow marks another Valentine’s Day, I am reminded how hard I work to make my marriage work. Similar to running, there are those days I find it hard to put one foot on the pavement and others when I could keep going, hills and all. While I would like to take full responsibility, I do need to give an audible shout out to my husband who allows me to have my tantrums, listens to my never-ending epiphanies on most all subjects, suffers through my cooking adventures and still manages to pull the car into our driveway each night.  I am loved.   And, I love back. 

Tomorrow I will give my husband a card that he will pretend to read, look at me and laugh and give me a kiss.  We stopped exchanging gifts several years back.  And, as I remind him on a fairly regular basis, I am his greatest gift. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Empty Words...

I know it has been awhile, and blogging etiquette dictates regular posting- sorry!  I have been slammed with work, which is good, but I apologize for not practicing what is preached!

Ok, blogs-a-doodle-doo fans, today I am going to write about “empty words, phrases, etc.”  Yes, at any given time we have fallen victim to, or been culprits of, meaningless, empty words and phrases, and in some instances, paragraphs.

A pretty good example of this started over 12 years ago, right around the time I got married.  A very nice couple, friends of my parents, supposedly bought us some of our stemware.  And, I did say supposedly, because to date, and by my calendar today is Sunday, June 6, 2010, we have yet to receive said gift. 

About twice a year for the last 12 years, we have run into this couple and the wife always reminds us (but I think she may be reminding herself) that our wedding gift is in their basement.  She giggles, and says how sorry she is, yet no gift.  Now, I know that they have moved at least once since our wedding.  My husband and I have bets to the whereabouts of the crystal.  I say it was sold at a garage sale.  He thinks that they kept the glasses and are now part of their collection in their new house.  Maybe I should try and score a dinner invitation and just take what is rightfully ours.  I don’t consider that stealing, do you?

My husband is famous, much to my chagrin, for using empty words.  It goes something like this:

 “Honey, can you please hang up your clothes?”

“Sure.”

The clothes remain on the floor. 

Or, how about the obligatory, yet meaningless phrases when you run into “friends” who you have no intention of seeing socially, yet, the empty phrases flow off your tongue like a politician running for re-election.  “Yes, we really do need to get together,” I say with an insincere smile.  If my thought bubble had a voice it would interrupt this charade and scream, “Ok, who am I kidding?  We both know that this ain’t ever gonna happen.”

So, I guess the lesson learned today is to make sure that we don’t use empty words in our conversations.  It is alright to greet the acquaintance that you have no burning desire to see socially, with a sincere smile, a firm handshake and say, “Good to see you.  Hope you are doing well.” 

I am trying not to pollute the universe, or at least, my corner, with useless and empty words.  If you don’t mean something, don’t say it.  Lulls in a conversation don’t give me the green light to fill it with idle and silly chatter.    

Complete sentences, where did you go?

When did we stop speaking in complete sentences?  Last week I met a friend for breakfast and next to our table sat three people probably in their mid thirties, dressed in business attire.  Because the tables were so close it was difficult not to hear what they were saying.  I realized that I was not having issues hearing their conversation, but understanding what they were saying.

The banter went something like this:

Business person #1 said, “About the meeting.”

Business person #2 rolled their eyes and muttered, “Really?”

Business person #3 laughed and said, “Seriously.”

Business person #1 nodded their head and answered, “Right?”

I thought they were playing a game of charades.  They all seemed to understand what the other was saying and this went on for maybe 30 minutes.  They left before we did, which was probably a good thing because my head was about to detach from my neck after listening and trying to decipher their ping pong game of dialogue.  My friend agreed and we continued to converse in complete sentences.  It went something like this:

Friend said, “How are you doing?  It seems like forever since we last got together.  I have a lot going on and would love to hear your perspective.”

I said, “I am well.  It is really nice to see you!  I am excited to hear about what is happening in your life, and happy to help.”

We had a nice time talking in complete sentences.

I get that sometimes one word responses are appropriate.  But when did this phenomenon of trading “one worders” originate?  I blame it on the adolescent stock response to parental direction of any kind, “Whatever.” That word has been banned from use in our household.  Couple this word with eye-rolling, and you have a combustible combination.  I digress.

Try using spell check with “one worders.”  It will indicate that it is a fragment.  Ha!

I certainly hope that these “one worders” won’t replace the art of conversation.  It’s almost as if texting has stunted not only our vocabulary but our willingness to engage in lively discussions.  Can we not be bothered to participate in a meaningful conversation where we may learn something, be entertained, or stimulated?  Really?